Before all this went down I had a nifty little plan to start doing solo shows in nursing homes after I retired from my dayjob. I was going to be booking a ton of gigs with the band and branching out into sideman work again. But my plan was not to be. I had underestimated the big picture. I retired from the dayjob and got used to being at home.
Covid-19 is scary and I know a few people who have gotten very sick from it. So far I’ve avoided it. Got used to fear and face masks. Timing grocery runs for midweek mornings with the least amount of customers in the store. Not driving. Anywhere.
George Floyd. What a terrible way to die. 38th and Chicago face down on the street. Shouldn’t be the reality but it is the reality. I felt again offended and sad all at once. It’s the oppression that has been here all along. Can’t put on a facemask and have this all get better with a vaccine. What to do? I did some cleanup at riot damaged locations, went down to 38th and Chicago. Got on my knees where George Floyd face was on the street. Prayed to not forget.
There is a lot to learn from this but it takes remembering Tycel Nelson. Remembering the doctrine of white supremacy is baked in. Remembering that I forget in the safety of my priviledged environment that others are not safe and are not given the same opportunities that allowed me to have a good job, healthcare, access to loans, housing and education.
Things ain’t what they used to be. My band and the music has always been about love songs. I’m good with that but it’s obvious that love songs are not enough. I am in the process of rearranging my priorities. Going back to the basics. Going back to the woodshed. Learning. Practicing. Reaching out and having conversations. Getting grounded in my relationship. Doing my program. Giving back. This is going to take some time to figure out. I don’t have it figured out and maybe I never will figure it out but I’ll have to learn as I go.